When Time Stood Still by K.S. Adkins

Author:K.S. Adkins [Adkins, K.S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Indie
Published: 2015-08-01T04:00:00+00:00

When I fell asleep on Drum last night, I knew.

But I count myself lucky that I was able to see him clearly one last time. The beauty of watching my husband rest would carry me through the hard times to come. I wasn’t foolish enough to think this would be easy. Deep in my belly, I knew losing my sight was the easy part. It would be learning to live without it that would test me.

It would test us.

Standing here in front of the window, I can feel the light on my face and though I can no longer see the colors, I can name them based on feeling. Oddly enough, I didn’t panic or get angry when my eyes opened to nothing. After months of false alarms and constant anxiety, I suppose the shock of it was lost on me.

Listening to his breathing, I turned my head knowing that though I could no longer see him, I could smell him, taste him and touch him. So that’s what I did. I touched the stubble on his face to remind me that he was real, tangible. When he turned into my touch, I inhaled his morning breath so glad for it. For me, it was the best smell in the world. Following the trail of his breath, I kissed his lips gently to bind myself to him, to our new reality.

Now, I’m back in front of the window wondering how he’ll take it, sad that he has to take it at all. I hear the covers rustle, instinctively, I feel him reaching for me even though I’m no longer next to him. I knew when he sat up and I knew the moment he felt the shift. Our connection was simply that strong.

“It’s gone,” came out as a whisper.

I felt his despair reach out and touch me.

I felt it as my own, yet I couldn’t move from this spot.

He needed a minute; I needed to give it to him.

So I did.

Drum was crying. My husband was a strong man, always unmovable. But this was a loss for him too. A loss was a loss, we both understood this but you always think, hope, for one more minute, one more day. The clock had been preparing me. He had been preparing me. I had been preparing myself. The clock had run out. My time was up.

It begins now. I needed to count my blessings and move forward. I was blessed to have been given this long. I was blessed to have Drum. The clock has been reset. It was moving forward again. I could not see it, but I could hear it.

“What color are my eyes?” he orders me from bed and that makes me smile.

“Espresso,” it wasn’t easy but I cleared my throat and continued. “With flecks of jade.”

“My hair? What color is it?” God this was hard. Me, he was always trying to help me. Dropping my head, I couldn’t get the words out. “Follow my voice, Time,” he demands and I turn my head ready to heed his orders.

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